Why am I disappointed to see that negative pregnancy test?

So a few weeks ago, I posted a post about how I was pretty late in my period cycle. And yes, I me and my spouse were just about ready to be “parents” in our own head.

As soon as we put our heads to it that “we-may-be-moving-on-to-a-new-stage-in-life” mindset, my period came.

I was pretty confused. I know sometimes periods are delayed, but this one sucked. Not only was it late, it also came with worse cramps, and seemed stinkier than usual.

I know. That’s gross. But even more than that, I was a bit disheartened that we weren’t having a baby.

One day, I’m thinking I’m not ready for this just yet-

and the other, I’m just disappointed nothing’s there.

And this is only month one? I can’t even imagine how torturing the next few months, maybe years might be.