I have been off my meds for over a week. No visible side effects, although I can’t seem to understand my own feelings.
Today i booked a quick appointment with my T, who looked shocked to hear about my mom’s death.
We talked about grieving and pain
I talked about how my extended family had hurt me with their words, words meant to be helpful… but caused more pain
I told him i cried in front of my dad, and he in front of I.
I told him we had two more patients moving in to our house.
I didnt have enough time to grieve, yet faced with new obstacles that must be treated
Loss is similar to pain, and grief is similar to anger.
The emotions I have, I can’t fully undetstand.
I hold back tears, even when I am broken.
Why is it so hard for me to let go and let myself heal?
Numbness, talking to myself, seeing or hearing things may happen in the span of the coming month.
Bought my meds, and heading back to work. To the gym, actually. In hopes physical strain can heal my damaged heart.