Presents, is it just about the money?

One thing that I noticed after getting married to mu husband was that our families share different ideas of love. With Christmas coming up, one of those differences was gifts.

My family, specifically my mom, loved sharing notes, letters, cards, and photos. In our house, you can find multiple letters and small notes inside poetry books that were gifted to each other. We gifted each other small things that weren’t hugely expensive but reflected the recipients’ taste, like accessories, clothes, books, and mix tapes and such. At the time, I had thought that this was what everyone does.

Funny how sometimes, you never really know how unique or different your family is before you’ve actually been a part of another one.

What was really different about my in-laws’ household were that they were more practical with their gifts. No thank you cards or flowers, but more things like cash, jewelry, or just things that the other person wanted. Well, specifically asked for. No need to say, but this was a pretty big change when I showed up to my in law’s house with a hand written card, flowers, and an engraved fountain pen on my father in law’s birthday. I had even forced my husband to write his dad a letter, which he hadn’t done in AGES.

November was my birthday, which my husband (as is the norm with his family) gifted me with a great dinner and a generous amount of cash. On his, he asked me to pitch in on a computer (that he had already bought) with his own money. No complaints here, it’s easy for sure. But with Christmas coming up, the idea just slipped past my mind that for me, gift giving is more about the time and effort put into the gift rather than the gift itself.

Receiving flowers and a card on Valentines, having a small wrapped gift that shows just how much they know your taste or that they are paying attention to what you love. I’m hoping that one of these days, I’ll receive a gift like that. Something that says : “your interests before mine, not just what I have to offer.”