I’m getting married, and I’m scared

There is always a part of me that is bubbly, fun, and full of excitement.

Then there is that bitch who is always paranoid and worried about everything there is to be worried about.

Today is a story about the paranoid one.

This weekend, my partner and I went to a wedding fair to figure out some of the details concerning our wedding next year. It was really fun and all, but there was a sense of fear when I came home.

I was scared of commitment not because I’m unhappy, no that would make more sense.

Would it make sense if I said I was scared that this happiness wouldn’t last?

Would it be strange to say that I was afraid I didn’t deserve this happiness?

Well, it was something like that. I wish someday the paranoid little bitch inside my head will learn to love me for who I am and what I have.

I really hope that I will allow myself to be happy. let myself be with healthy people who love me, without the emotional guilt.